vancouver, british columbia, canada - july 28, 2006

because i like to be clever, the first, handwritten entry in my little black book (with the fabulously garish, thigh-high red boot on the cover....thank you danae) is entitled "day 1 july 27, 2006". i suppose it's entirely appropriate that, in the full spirit of this journey, i have had to get out of my own way to write this entry on day 2.

nevertheless, i was concerned that starting things off with "day 1" would be too commonplace. but then i considered that the first topic about which it occurred to me to write--and in no less auspicious a place as a calgary airport toilet--was the natural history of disgust. what looked like a smattering of scabrous blobs of dried mucous littering the wall around the toilet paper dispenser generated considerable curiousity about the origin of the reaction we call disgust. more than the (almost) overwhelming stress of trip preparation (who knew that condensing a western life for a year's travel would be so complicated), my disgust in that lavatory moment stands out as the most potent sign of...well, of something. i'll know what it's pointing to when i feel the point. i'm good at feeling pointy things.

so in my roundabout way, i'm less pointedly remarking on the anticlimax of my departure from calgary and my arrival in vancouver yesterday. i thought i would feel more, or at least feel differently, but the slippage between my anticipated and actual experience has been my only consistent experience so far. perhaps my exhaustion eclipsed the emotional content of the process of leaving. and in coming first to the very familiar vancouver, i don't yet have a sense of the enormity of this undertaking that, as hard as i have tried to do, i have been unable to characterize as foolish, or even foolhardy.

dallas didn't answer the phone when i called from the airport and later confirmed my suspicion that he'd got my arrival date mixed up. he thought it was sometime today. but back at the airport, finishing my voice message to him, i thought i was already being tested: allan, you've just arrived in a large city and require lodging. what steps do you take? i think i had the situation sorted out in my head when dallas called back. we ate shawarma platters on the grass ringing english bay. i rarely tire of his stories and his chatter. he's so gifted, so complex. i wish i were always able to give him my full attention. since he has been assimilating buddhist and hindu perspectives far longer than i have, i've felt odd about being able to visit india before him. we may go to a BBQ tonight with his classmates from the advanced textile arts program at capilano college. he's also asked me to go to wreck beach, sometime this weekend, though my body image may require some fortification to enable that kind of outing. (for those of you who don't know, dallas has been my friend since 1989 in edmonton. he was my first sister and my only gurilla.)

with dallas at work, i had today to myself, but the west end of vancouver, one of the gayest places i've been too (oxford street in sydney is right up there and i'll be there very soon...stay tuned) has always been a challenge for me. i think it stems from early rejection experiences when i was coming out in edmonton. whatever. i meandered east up nelson street, which is quiet and lush, before dodging over to davie street/village to forage for coffee and a muffin in one of my favourite coffeehouses, melriches. because the day was cool and gray, i was able to find just the right bench at the bay to watch gulls, pigeons, people and herons. oh, and to sit with my colossal self-consciousness. it's so vivid. it will be a lively companion on this journey, i'm sure. :o)

i was able to grab my friend, rod, for lunch. he's leaving on a similar journey on september 16, which will take him first to japan, then indonesia and, if he can work it, cambodia (via malaysia) and thailand. he arrives in kathmandu on november 30. i'm going to meet him at the airport and hang out for a couple of days before he heads off to everest base camp. he arrives in india 11 days after i do. we aim to cross paths for ready-made chai somewhere.

i've been trying to do nothing all day and have not succeeded. hence, this lengthy post about very little. i'm waiting for dallas to return home. maybe i'll do the dishes. maybe not. cool.